Category: 04 Workplace jokes

Engineering vs. Management..

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am." The woman… more »

Five minutes management course

Five minutes management course Lesson 1: A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob… more »

12 Tips From an Analyst

"12 Tips From an Analyst to a (Managing Director, Director, VP basically everyone with a higher ranking) on How to Enhance the Relationship" 1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 5:00 p.m. and then bring it to me. The challenge of… more »

Dead horse

The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from one generation to the next, says that when you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. But in modern business (and education and government) because heavy… more »


If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt. Don't be irreplaceable: if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. It doesn't matter what you do, it only m… more »

Drug dealers Vs software developers

--------------------------------------------- Drug Dealers Software Developers --------------------------------------------- Refer to their clients as "users". Refer to their clients as "users". "The first one's free!" "Download a free trial ve… more »

Excuses For Missing Work

If it is all the same to you I won't be coming in to work. The voices told me to clean all the guns today. When I got up this morning I took two Ex-Lax in addition to my Prozac. I can't get off the john, but I feel good about it. I set half the cloc… more »

Prison Vs workplace

For all of you punks, something to think about (for a change): In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8' X 10' cell. At work you spend most of your time in a 6' X 8' cubicle. In prison you get three meals a day. At work you only get a b… more »

Things to say at work

THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY AT WORK, BUT CAN'T! 1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of s**t. 2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 3. How about never? Is never good for you? 4. I see you've set as… more »

You know You graduated from b-school

YOU KNOW YOU'RE READY TO GRADUATE FROM B-SCHOOL WHEN ________________________________________________________________ 1. You ask the waiter what the restaurant's core competencies are. 2. You decide to re-org your family into a "team-based organizat… more »