Leglessbird Jokes

TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

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TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your maths sums on
the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!

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TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile"?
JOHN: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell
it!

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TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
SARAH: "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!

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TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North
America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered
America?
CLASS: George!

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TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have
today
that we didn't have ten years ago.
WILLY: Me!

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TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you
are.

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SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.

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TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by
biting
insects?
JOSE: Don't bite any.

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TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with
"I".
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the
alphabet."

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Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of
COINCIDENCE?"
Johnny :
"Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the
sameday
sametime."

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Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down
his
father's Cherry tree but also admitted doing it. Now
do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
Johnny : "Because George still had the axe in his
hand."

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Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
Son : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?

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Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are
wearing, one is green and one is blue with red
spots!
Kirk : Yes it's really strange. I've got another
pair
of thesame at home.

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At a church school gathering, one little old lady
approached a cute 5-year-old girl and asked her
where
she got her good looks. "I musta got 'em from my
Daddy," said the little girl, "'cause Mommy's still
got
hers.

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Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a
donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be
showing?
Student: Brotherly love.

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Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say
prayers
before eating?
Sam : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good
cook.

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Teacher: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is
exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?
Desmond: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

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Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on
talking when people are no longer interested?
Pupil : A teacher.