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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

Plato:
For the greater good.

Karl Marx:
It was an historical inevitability.

Thomas de Torquemada:
Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

Timothy Leary:
Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it
take.

Oliver North:
National security was at stake.

...

Albert Einstein:
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken
depends upon your frame of reference.

Salvador Dali:
The Fish.

Ernest Hemingway:
To die....in the rain.

Werner Heisenberg:
We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was
moving very fast.

Saddam Hussein:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Jack Nicholson:
`Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored) reason.

Ronald Reagan:
I forget.

Henry David Thoreau:
To live deliberately....and all the marrow out of life.

Joseph Stalin:
I don't care.....catch it.....I need its eggs to make my omelette.

Machiavelli:
So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which
has the courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom
among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian
virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.

Hippocrates:
Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.

McKinsey & Company:
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its
dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant
challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly
competitive market. McKinsey & Co., in a partnering
relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its
physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the
Poultry Integration Model (PIM), McKinsey & Co. helped the chicken use
its skills, methodologies, knowledge capital, and experiences to align
the chicken's resources, processes, and technology in support of its
overall strategy within a Program management framework. McKinsey &
Co. convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best practise
chickens along with McKinsey consultants with deep skills in the
transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in
order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and
explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to
achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting
and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum
of "poultry cross-median" processes. The meetings were held in a
park-like setting enabling and creating an impactful environment, which
was strategically-based, industry-focused, and built upon a
consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the
chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards
the creation of a total poultry business integration solution and
enabled the chicken to add significant value for all stakeholders.

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