Leglessbird Jokes

A little old lady entered the main branch of the Chase Manhattan bank
with a large grocery bag in her arms. She told the teller that she
wanted to open an account to make a substantial deposit, in excess of
$200,000. Further, she said that since such a large sum was involved,
she would deal only with the president of the bank to make the
necessary arrangements.

The teller looked in the bag and confirmed that it was, in fact, full
of cash. He called upstairs and explained the situation to the bank
president, who agreed to see the woman. The teller escorted her to
the president's office, and the president invited her to have a seat,
which she accepted. She repeated her request to open an account.

The president said he would take care of it personally, but his
curiosity was killing him. He said, "Mind if I ask how you happened
to come into such a large sum of cash?"

...

"Not at all," was her reply. "I bet."

"You bet?" he countered. "At the racetrack, or on professional
sports, or in casinos ...?"

"Nothing like that," she said. "I just ... bet. For example, I'll
bet you $50,000 that by tomorrow morning your balls will be square."

The president chuckled but, seeing that the lady was serious, and had
the funds to back up such a wild bet, agreed. They shook hands on
it, and she promised to return at nine the next morning to follow up,
and left.

As the day wore on, the president found himself frequently checking to
make sure that all was in order. It was, but just as a precaution he
cancelled his regular Tuesday-afternoon golf match and went home
early. The next morning when he showered, he was actually relieved to
find that nothing had changed drastically while he slept. He
confidently headed for the bank, laughing all the way at the
unexpected windfall that was about to become his.

The little old lady showed up promptly at the appointed hour,
accompanied by a young man. When the president asked who he was, she
replied that he was her lawyer, who she always brought along when
payoffs involving significant sums were involved.

The president told her that sorry, she had lost that particular bet,
so the funds would be outgoing rather than incoming. She insisted on
examining the evidence for herself, considering the amount at stake. He
deemed it a
reasonable request under the circumstances, so he stood up, unbuckled
his belt and dropped his pants. She proceeded to closely inspect his
jewels for any abnormalities.

As she did, the president noticed that her lawyer was standing in the
corner , banging his head against the wall. He asked the lady,
"What's the matter with him?"

She replied, "Oh, him. I bet him $150,000 that before ten a.m. today
I'd have the president of the Chase Manhattan Bank by the balls..."