Archives for: October 2006, 19
Dead horse
The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from
one generation to the next, says that when you discover
that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to
dismount.
But in modern business (and education and government)
because heavy… more »
DILBERT'S LAWS OF WORK
If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.
A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.
Don't be irreplaceable: if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
It doesn't matter what you do, it only m… more »
Drug dealers Vs software developers
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Drug Dealers
Software Developers
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Refer to their clients as "users".
Refer to their clients as "users".
"The first one's free!"
"Download a free trial ve… more »
Excuses For Missing Work
If it is all the same to you I won't be coming in to work. The voices told
me to clean all the guns today.
When I got up this morning I took two Ex-Lax in addition to my Prozac. I
can't get off the john, but I feel good about it.
I set half the cloc… more »
How do you achieve 103% ?
How do you achieve 103% ?
We have all been to those meetings where someone wants more than 100%.
Well here's how you do that. Here's how you can achieve 103%.
First of all, here's a little math that might prove helpful in the future.
How does one a… more »
Prison Vs workplace
For all of you punks, something to think about (for a change):
In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8' X 10' cell.
At work you spend most of your time in a 6' X 8' cubicle.
In prison you get three meals a day.
At work you only get a b… more »
Things to say at work
THINGS YOU'D LOVE TO SAY AT WORK, BUT CAN'T!
1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of s**t.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set as… more »
To impress a client
I was in the airport VIP lounge en route to Seattle a couple of weeks
ago. While in there, I noticed Bill Gates sitting comfortably in the corner,
enjoying a drink. I was meeting a very important client who was also
flying to Seattle, but she was run… more »
Two consultants
A McKinsey Consultant and an Andersen Consultant are sitting next to each other
on a long flight from LA to NY. The McKinsey Consultant leans over to the
Andersen Consultant and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The Andersen
Consultant just w… more »
You know You graduated from b-school
YOU KNOW YOU'RE READY TO GRADUATE FROM B-SCHOOL WHEN
________________________________________________________________
1. You ask the waiter what the restaurant's core competencies are.
2. You decide to re-org your family into a "team-based organizat… more »
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Plato:
For the greater good.
Karl Marx:
It was an historical inevitability.
Thomas de Torquemada:
Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.
Timothy Leary:
Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it
take.
O… more »